How to move on from a breakup

How to move on from a break up


By Angie.P

With every broken relationship comes baggage.

Take time out for yourself to process these feelings. Don’t block them away. Embrace them and accept them.

Don’t bottle them in, because as we all know they will explode in the future when least expected. You might have heard of people who claim to have moved on by shutting off / avoiding their emotions altogether. They may feel like they have moved on, but what’s really happening is the issue has just become so deeply buried that it doesn’t cause any immediate reaction. It’s like having a cut that is healed on the surface but still has impurities underneath the scar. To complete the cleansing process, all the dirt has to be cleansed. To do so you need to first acknowledge and accept your feelings.

Cut off contact

Do this at least for a little while. No, you do not need to be friends. Keeping an ex in your life is not by itself a sign of maturity; knowing how to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being is. Many people hang on to the idea of friendship with an ex as a way to keep the possibility of the relationship alive because the idea of completely letting go seems too overwhelming. While, depending on the circumstances, a friendship may eventually be possible, being friends can’t happen in a genuine way until you have healed through most if not all of the pain, which takes time. Being your own best friend is what is most important during a difficult break-up and that means not putting yourself in situations that don’t lead to feeling good.

Acknowledge the fact that they’re not the one for you

People say that everything happens for a reason. In this case, it’s probably true.

If your relationship didn’t work, don’t be sad that it ended; instead, be happy that it happened.

Despite the pain and heartbreak the failed relationship caused you, learn from the experience and make yourself better.

Believe that there’s someone out there for you and soon enough, you’ll meet that person.

Make peace with your past

When someone treats you poorly or does something hurtful, it is a natural and healthy response to feel some anger. Anger helps you be aware of situations that are not in your best interest and can facilitate the separation process from an unhealthy relationship. But when we hold on to anger and resentment from past experiences we take them with us into the future. Nothing hurts more than when someone you love does something that causes you to reevaluate who you believed them to be. When someone betrays the trust you gave, it is painful. But letting another’s actions limit your ability to move forward means he or she still exerts control over your life. Forgiveness isn’t about letting the person off the hook for his or her bad behavior; it is about your emotional freedom.

“Change is inevitable. Progression is a choice.”

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Why a break up can be one of the best things that ever happened to you

Why breaking up can be one of the best things that ever happened to you.


By Angie.P

Many times we believe that everything in life is black and white, but as the months and years have started to pass, I have begun to realize that every painful and terrible experience has taught me something useful and positive. This is something especially real when it comes to romantic relationships, because when going through a separation, we almost always forget that in reality, what we have before us is an opportunity to learn something that we could not have learned in any other way.       

 1. You develop a much deeper sense of empathy for others.

 After you’ve gone through a tremendous amount of pain yourself, it’s easier to understand and  connect  with someone who is suffering. You don’t even have to have gone through the same thing  they’re going through in order to understand their pain. But you do understand what it’s like to feel helpless, alone, angry and scared. You’ll become a better friend and person to everyone around you.

2. It helps you to understand who you are when you’re not in a relationship. 

 It’s easier to categorize yourself  when you’re in a relationship. You’re someone’s  girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancé, spouse, etc.  Soon that becomes the most important, and often only, way to label yourself. But when you’re alone again, you discover that it’s not necessary to label  yourself at all. You are an ever-changing person. Constantly learning and growing.

3. You learn who your real friends are.

 I have always deemed friendships as one of the most important things in life. I even think that we can go through life without a partner, but not without a friend. During difficult times, the real ones will  show up. They will try to make you feel better and even if they don’t know how to, they will just be there for you. And honestly, sometimes that is all we need.

4. You realize you can put up with much more than you had originally thought.   

Imagen relacionada
Frida said it best.

At some point you think the world is going to end for you. There are days you won’t even want to get out bed and you’ll wonder how you’re going to get through it all. But it is not until you force yourself to get out of that bed and push yourself to continue every day, that you will really comprehend how strong you are, mentally, physically and emotionally. And the beauty of it all is that no matter what happens next in your life, you will know, that you can and will get through it.

5. You understand the beauty of being single.

 You will discover the deliciousness of making your own schedule and following what called for you rather than what was expected from you. What fell by the wayside during your relationship, are exactly where you left them. Only now you have the time and devotion to give them the attention and energy they deserve.

 6. You will find peace with your past.

 With time you will realize that everyone comes into you life for a reason. What you’re going  through is just a stepping stone on your journey. You have lost, but you have learned. And you will quickly realize that the person you were looking for was right where they were supposed to be: within. 

I coach people going through break ups and divorces so if you want a free session to see what it is like don’t hesitate to contact me!

“No relationship is ever a waste of time, if it didn’t bring you what want, it taught you what you don’t want.”


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How do I let go of someone who is not good for me?

How to let go of someone who is not good for you.

By Angie.P

It can happen sometimes that the person we are with is not the most appropriate, since, no matter how hard you try to make your relationship go well, the only thing you get from that person is pain and rejection. Maybe he or she does not feel the same way for you or they just stopped loving you a while ago. Whether it’s one thing or the other, the solution is the same: cut that toxic relationship as soon as possible.

Denial, justification and self-blame are the most common tactics people use when they are in a relationship with someone who hurts them. Needless to say, they are not anywhere near the most efficient for your emotional health. First we will define those common tactics:

1. Denial: 

Appears when we do the impossible by not seeing the problem in front of us. We ignore it, we normalize or minimize it. It expresses with constant lies towards oneself and with efforts to forcefully forget all the damage that person has done to us throughout the day. One of the clearest and most dramatic examples of the denial of the problem is the example of the battered woman who not only tries to convince others, but also does so to herself, that her bruises are the result of an accident, and not the jealousy or anger of her partner.

2. The justification: 

It happens when, although we are aware that there is a problem, we try to downplay it by blaming it on the circumstances rather than on the person. If the person you love is constantly justifying the behaviors that hurt you, then it is because you are afraid to face the truth: it is not the circumstances, it is that person. For example, let’s imagine that someone is always apologizing for another person’s criticism, claiming that they had a very stressful day or because they care about their well-being. No matter how hard or out of place they may be. That is literally what you’re doing and deep inside, you know you don’t deserve to be treated like that.

What then?

3. Become your first priority. 

You are your priority, and as much as you love another person, there comes a time when you must begin to fight for yourself. And yes, although you love him/her a lot, the other person refuses to fight for you, so you got to do it for yourself. You know in your heart that it is time to physically or emotionally withdraw them from your life.

4. Forgive yourself.

You may feel guilty and angry at yourself. And you may keep asking yourself how you allowed someone to treat you like they did for as long as they did. However, you have to understand that getting hurt can always be a consequence to becoming vulnerable to someone. And there is nothing wrong with that. Vulnerability is the driving force of connection. It’s brave, it’s tender and it’s impossible to connect without it. You can never predict another person’s actions, and you may have given them many opportunities to treat you better and to change, but you were only trying to save the relationship. You remembered about the good times and those good memories were all you needed to keep holding on a little longer. And don’t ever forget that you are NOT a bad person for letting go. You are a human-being who deserves to be loved and appreciated. 

In conclusion, turn the page, go ahead and remember that the benefits of letting go are not only to recover your tranquility and emotional stability, but also to recover yourself as a person. You deserve it, and you’re worth it! Little by little you will realize all the important things that you left aside and that now you can resume. Trust me! Just stay firm in your decision and keep going forward with great force! It won’t be long until you begin to enjoy the beautiful things in life again and feel fully recovered from that relationship.

Resultado de imagen de person walking away gif

I coach people going through break ups and divorces so if you want a free session to see what it is like don’t hesitate to contact me!

“One day the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving.”


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5 signs you’re ”Almost-Relationship” is getting nowhere

5 signs your almost-relationship is getting nowhere

By Angie.P

As we continue to grow in our lives, so do our relationships — unless you find yourself in an “almost” one. This specific type of situation happens when two people go through the motions of being together — without discussing (or verifying) if they actually are.

We live in strange times, and if you’re not sure if your almost-relationship is going anywhere, here are some signs that you need to sit down and discuss things with your partner or just get out.

1. They’re still on the dating apps.

This is one of the biggest RED FLAGS you can get. If you have been dating for quite some time now and they are still on the apps, there is definitely something holding them back. If you feel disrespected and confused you should address it and ask them about it. If you are still on the app take a long look at yourself and ask yourself why. 

2. You’re scared to talk about the relationship

They say your intuition never lies. And even though we cannot always rely on it, most times it is wrapped around nothing but the truth. The ”What are we?” talk is one most of us are not looking forward to. However, there is a difference between not wanting to mention it because the relationship is fresh and new and not wanting to mention it because you are afraid that at that late stage it might just ruin everything. You owe yourself more than a relationship that you’re scared to define — so don’t hold back from asking the questions that linger in your mind, because a person who wants a future with you will be willing to work for one.

3. They keep telling you they’re busy.

I myself have said the following to some people ”I’m sorry I am incredibly busy this week” when in reality I had some time to go out. 

We ALL make time for the things and the people we love. That’s just how it is and there is no way to go around it. If someone truly loves you or is genuinely interested in you, they will make the effort. Some of us have busier schedules than others, but if we have time to hang out with friends and grab a drink, we have time for our partners as well. Don’t go stalker mode, but pay attention. If the person you have been dating is constantly saying, “I can’t hang out, it’s been a super busy week,” and then posts pictures with his friends, take it as it is, a huge red flag. If they call you 1/2 weeks later to hang out when they finally feel like they want to see you, think twice about their intentions in keeping you around.

4. You keep questioning the worth of the relationship.

You find yourself trying to explain to yourself and others why it’s worth it to stay. Ask yourself these questions: 

1. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated?2. 2. Do you feel your relationship is a true partnership?

Despite the struggle and the red flags, the possibility of a future keeps you dreaming. It is hard, it is incredibly hard to leave someone who you already spent so much time with, it’s even harder if you truly know you gave your all. But one thing you should never forget is that everything you give in a relationship, all that love, should be reciprocated. You deserve to be loved in the same way you love others.

5. They go MIA for days and never explain why.

There you are, waiting for a text message or a phone call but nothing, nothing at all. 

We all need a few days to disconnect from the world and just be by ourselves. I for example do that a lot. I don’t really tell my friends about it, maybe sometimes my best friend but I always tell my parents. When it comes to a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is not even debatable. You are choosing to share your life and time with someone else, going MIA and not telling them about it is wrong, for numerous reasons. The other person might get worried and it causes a lot of confusion. Someone who does not care to tell you that they’re going MIA or doesn’t even take the time to explain why is not worth it. This means they are not taking your feeling into account, which also means they almost never do. You don’t deserve to be looking at your phone constantly waiting for a text or a phone call.

Remember, whether it comes to romantic relationships or friendships even, you deserve to be treated the same way you treat them. You deserve to be loved with the same intensity and be given the respect that you deserve. 

Do not let anyone make you feel like you are not worthy of that, ever, because you are. 

I coach people going through break ups and divorces so if you want a free session to see what it is like don’t hesitate to contact me!

“If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority.”

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