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As we continue to grow in our lives, so do our relationships — unless you find yourself in an “almost” one. This specific type of situation happens when two people go through the motions of being together — without discussing (or verifying) if they actually are.
We live in strange times, and if you’re not sure if your almost-relationship is going anywhere, here are some signs that you need to sit down and discuss things with your partner or just get out.
1. They’re still on the dating apps.
This is one of the biggest RED FLAGS you can get. If you have been dating for quite some time now and they are still on the apps, there is definitely something holding them back. If you feel disrespected and confused you should address it and ask them about it. If you are still on the app take a long look at yourself and ask yourself why.
2. You’re scared to talk about the relationship
They say your intuition never lies. And even though we cannot always rely on it, most times it is wrapped around nothing but the truth. The ”What are we?” talk is one most of us are not looking forward to. However, there is a difference between not wanting to mention it because the relationship is fresh and new and not wanting to mention it because you are afraid that at that late stage it might just ruin everything. You owe yourself more than a relationship that you’re scared to define — so don’t hold back from asking the questions that linger in your mind, because a person who wants a future with you will be willing to work for one.
3. They keep telling you they’re busy.
I myself have said the following to some people ”I’m sorry I am incredibly busy this week” when in reality I had some time to go out.
We ALL make time for the things and the people we love. That’s just how it is and there is no way to go around it. If someone truly loves you or is genuinely interested in you, they will make the effort. Some of us have busier schedules than others, but if we have time to hang out with friends and grab a drink, we have time for our partners as well. Don’t go stalker mode, but pay attention. If the person you have been dating is constantly saying, “I can’t hang out, it’s been a super busy week,” and then posts pictures with his friends, take it as it is, a huge red flag. If they call you 1/2 weeks later to hang out when they finally feel like they want to see you, think twice about their intentions in keeping you around.
4. You keep questioning the worth of the relationship.
You find yourself trying to explain to yourself and others why it’s worth it to stay. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated?2. 2. Do you feel your relationship is a true partnership?
Despite the struggle and the red flags, the possibility of a future keeps you dreaming. It is hard, it is incredibly hard to leave someone who you already spent so much time with, it’s even harder if you truly know you gave your all. But one thing you should never forget is that everything you give in a relationship, all that love, should be reciprocated. You deserve to be loved in the same way you love others.
5. They go MIA for days and never explain why.
There you are, waiting for a text message or a phone call but nothing, nothing at all.
We all need a few days to disconnect from the world and just be by ourselves. I for example do that a lot. I don’t really tell my friends about it, maybe sometimes my best friend but I always tell my parents. When it comes to a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is not even debatable. You are choosing to share your life and time with someone else, going MIA and not telling them about it is wrong, for numerous reasons. The other person might get worried and it causes a lot of confusion. Someone who does not care to tell you that they’re going MIA or doesn’t even take the time to explain why is not worth it. This means they are not taking your feeling into account, which also means they almost never do. You don’t deserve to be looking at your phone constantly waiting for a text or a phone call.
Remember, whether it comes to romantic relationships or friendships even, you deserve to be treated the same way you treat them. You deserve to be loved with the same intensity and be given the respect that you deserve.
Do not let anyone make you feel like you are not worthy of that, ever, because you are.
I coach people going through break ups and divorces so if you want a free session to see what it is like don’t hesitate to contact me!
“If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority.”
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